Dating in today’s world can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack. You meet plenty of men who seem “nice” on the surface, but when it comes to building a relationship that actually lasts? That’s where things get tricky.
As a matchmaker and coach, I’ve worked with thousands of women who all want the same thing: a strong, grounded, emotionally intelligent man who is ready for a committed relationship. And after years of experience—and even my own journey into marriage—I’ve refined my list of what to look for in a man.
1. Love: Real Connection vs. False Intimacy
So many relationships confuse lust or chemistry with love. But real love is about choice and security. It’s a man saying: “I choose you, and I will not stop choosing you.”
That’s the kind of commitment that builds a foundation—not just a fleeting spark.
2. Priority: Are You Really Important to Him?
If you’re not a priority, you’ll feel it. A man who is serious about you will show up consistently—not just when it’s convenient.
Don’t settle for someone who treats you like an option.
3. Emotional Intelligence: EQ Matters More Than You Think
Emotional intelligence is what allows couples to communicate, empathize, and grow together.
A man doesn’t have to know every psychology term or book, but he does need to be:
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Willing to learn.
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Willing to adapt.
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Willing to meet you emotionally.
4. Ownership & Accountability in Relationships
A strong man can admit when he’s wrong. He can apologize sincerely without blame-shifting.
If he can’t own his mistakes, he won’t be able to build trust or resolve conflict.
5. Protect & Provide (Beyond Finances)
This isn’t just about money. It’s about safety, presence, and commitment.
A man who protects and provides isn’t only covering finances—he’s making sure you feel secure physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
If you’re feeling discouraged by modern dating, don’t lose hope. Good men do exist. And when you know what qualities to look for, you’ll stop wasting energy on the wrong ones and start recognizing the right one when he comes along.
🎧 Ready to go deeper? Tune in to this week’s episode of the Dating With Katy Podcast where I unpack each of these five qualities in detail (plus, share a powerful book recommendation).
🎧 Watch the full episode here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TV1jyH1XFIQ
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