Over the years—as a coach, matchmaker, and a woman who’s done her own inner work—I’ve come to believe that one of the most powerful things we can do in a relationship is to heal ourselves.
In my latest podcast episode, 5 Lessons for Self-Healing in a Relationship, I shared five lessons that have helped me—and many of my clients—transform pain into power. Let me share here 3 of those and make sure you head over to the Dating With Katy Podcast for the whole version:
The World's Ways are Helpful, but They’re Not Going to Heal You
Therapy, journaling, nervous system regulation, self-care—all of these are tools, not truth. Healing comes from alignment with your core values, integrity, and your Creator—not just self-soothing or self-help tactics. You can be endlessly “working on yourself” and still avoid true transformation. Getting honest with myself and doing “ the work” help show me my deeper heart wounds, But it is when I allow God to heal me that I am finding transformation.
You Need to Become Need-Free
This one is hard because if you are in a relationship with someone there are specific needs that only they should be meeting! Those needs like encouragement, touch and time are what they are promising to do for you in being committed, but if you need them to make you feel complete, fully loved or worthy then you will be disappointed. They are human and they will let you down. It is just how it is. You can want someone deeply and still not need them to be your emotional regulator. Freedom in love starts when you stop outsourcing your self-worth.
Stay on Your Paper. Clean Up Your Side of the Street.
This one’s not glamorous—but it’s powerful. Stop trying to change other people. Stop blaming. Start doing your own work. Accountability is maturity. The moment I focused on my own reactions, triggers, and healing instead of theirs, my relationships transformed. Remember there is a lot of information out there. Yet without transformation, it’s not going to be your game changer.
This episode was a personal one. Take a listen and hear about all 5 of the ways I am working on healing while in my marriage.
Listen here: https://lnkd.in/gtuTbmnQ
Watch here: https://lnkd.in/gQgX4dnU
Click my Work With Me Button to get started.
