Let’s be honest — most couples struggle to talk about sex.
It’s one of the most important parts of a relationship, and yet, it’s the topic that makes most people the most uncomfortable.
In this week’s episode of Dating With Katy, I sat down with Dr. Tara, TikTok’s #1 Sex Educator, professor, and host of the Love Bites podcast — for one of the most unfiltered and enlightening conversations we’ve ever had.
Together, we tackled the kind of questions that don’t usually make it to the dinner table (but absolutely should).
1. The 4 “Sex Personalities” and why they matter
Dr. Tara breaks down her Sexual Profile Quiz, which helps individuals and couples understand how they naturally express desire and connection. From Dynamic vs. Consistent Lovers to Kinky vs. Traditional, knowing your sexual personality can completely change how you communicate and connect with your partner.
2. Mismatched desire is more common than you think
If one partner wants sex more than the other, you’re not broken — you’re human. Dr. Tara calls it mismatched libido, and it affects one in three couples. She shares real, practical solutions (like mutual touch and sexual meditation) to rebuild closeness without shame or pressure.
3. How to talk about sex — without the awkwardness
We also discussed Dr. Tara’s Media Mention Method and PEVIS Framework for better communication: how to bring up sensitive topics gently, listen without defensiveness, and express desires with confidence and care.
4. The truth about confidence and self-esteem in bed
Confidence is how you show up — but self-esteem is how you see yourself. We explored how faith, self-worth, and emotional healing play a major role in how we experience love and intimacy.
5. Why so many women are faking it — and what to do instead
It’s not about manipulation — it’s about people-pleasing. Many women fake pleasure to make their partner feel good, but over time, that disconnect creates resentment. Dr. Tara reminds us that authentic pleasure comes from honesty, communication, and trust.
As Dr. Tara beautifully said,
“Sex is not just about sex. Sex is about comfort, communication, trust, taking initiative, putting in effort, care, adoration, love.”
That’s what real intimacy is built on — emotional safety and mutual respect, not just physical chemistry.
When we understand our own needs and learn to talk about them openly, we invite our partners into deeper connection.
Because when a woman feels safe, seen, and sexually understood… that’s when love truly thrives.
🎧 Watch to the full episode of Ep 123: The Sex Advice No One Dares to Tell You (With Dr. Tara)
👉 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3VqIZ1lWIo.
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