When we think of masculinity, most people jump straight to strength, confidence, or maybe even financial success. But what women secretly notice about a truly masculine man goes so much deeper than the surface.
In this week’s episode of the Dating with Katy Podcast, I sat down with my friend Angelo Santiago, host of The Better Husband Podcast. Angelo’s story is inspiring — from life as a firefighter, to nearly losing his marriage, to finding healing and growth through men’s groups and coaching. His journey is a powerful reminder that masculinity is less about bravado and more about presence, ownership, and growth.
Why Men Often Need to Hear It from Other Men
Why does this happen? Angelo explained it perfectly: men often need to hear things from other men because it bypasses the “nagging” filter. It’s not about disrespecting their partner — it’s about the way they’re wired. Sometimes a third voice (a mentor, a coach, even a podcast) creates space for growth without defensiveness.
The Role of Ego in Relationships
Ego sneaks into every marriage and relationship. Maybe you want credit for suggesting something first. Maybe he resists taking advice because it feels like giving up control. The truth? We all wrestle with ego. Recognizing it — without shame — helps us move forward in love instead of getting stuck in power struggles.
What Does Healthy Masculinity Really Look Like?
Ladies, this one’s for you. What should we look for in men — whether you’re dating or already married? According to Angelo, healthy masculinity isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present.
A healthy masculine man…
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Takes ownership of his part in conflict
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Can stand strong during disharmony without shutting down
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Creates emotional safety by being vulnerable and empathetic
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Seeks growth (instead of avoiding hard truths)
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Balances strength with compassion
It’s not about being flawless — it’s about being willing to repair, listen, and grow.
Masculinity, when healthy, is not about domination. It’s about presence, accountability, and love in action. And women — we have our part too. It’s about learning to communicate with intention, to see beyond the surface, and to celebrate growth over perfection.
If you’ve ever wondered what women really notice in a man, it’s not the car he drives or the paycheck he brings home. It’s his ability to show up — fully, authentically, and with a willingness to grow.
🎧 Tune in now to Dating with Katy Ep. 120: What Women Secretly Notice About a Truly Masculine Man in Relationships — and don’t forget to share it with someone who needs this conversation today.
Link here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NG8FdjJhvWM.
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